I have been teaching taekwondo for over ten years. I’ve been training for even longer. Having grown up in the martial arts, I take it as it is. For me, it is the norm. But it isn’t that way for everyone. I grew up with instructors really emphasizing the importance of courtesy in martial arts. My classmates on the other hand? Not so much. So here is an explanation on the role of courtesy in martial arts, and why it’s so important!
The backstory…
When I became a teenager my instructor decided it was time for me to join the other adults. That was completely understandable; I was growing quite tall. As I began working (and training) with the adults, I noticed something. A lot of the white belt adults seemed confused by what was going on. In fact, they seemed confused frequently. Huh. Why was this?
I never really asked anyone about why they were so confused. How do you do that without sounding awkward? Eventually these new white belts would become yellow belts, orange belts, etc., and stop being so confused. As far as I saw it, the confusion solved itself.
One day, a new student in the adult class walked up to me. They asked me why we, in martial arts, are so adamant about respect. They wanted to understand why martial artists are always bowing and using titles. That threw me off. I’d never thought about it. Like I said, this was a normal part of taekwondo practice. Putting myself in this student’s shoes, I realized that it might seem quite different to someone who hadn’t grown up in it.
So, as a curious person, I decided to find out. I ended up asking around. Many of my colleagues (who had grown up in taekwondo with me) didn’t know either. I looked it up. Nothing (definitive). Eventually, I asked the head instructor. When I asked, he chuckled, sat me down in his office, and explained. After showing me textbooks, charts, and lecture notes, I found the answer. Here is a general summary of what I learned.
the explanation (finally!)
Martial arts is an inherently dangerous activity. You’re breaking boards, doing cool stunts, sparring other students, and many other intense activities. It’s very cool, but if something goes wrong, someone can get hurt! That’s just a fact. To reduce the risk, we encourage respect and trust among students. They need to trust and respect each other to learn safely. If I don’t respect or trust my partner than how can I trust them to catch me if I fall?
But we can’t just respect each other mentally or just while we exercise. We also have to show our respect to each other before, during, and after calss. We don’t call each other by our first name. We always say “sir” or “ma’am” when talking to someone else. We never lie. By doing this, we show each other respect. We also show students the importance of courtesy and integrity.
If you’ve read some of my other posts, you know that martial arts is about character development. Displaying courtesy and integrity regularly is a part of that. Really encouraging respect through example leads to students learning to respect others too. Lead by example, right? Besides, everyone appreciates being respected and treated kindly!
And it works! Students learn to respect their instructors, each other, and others. Both inside the dojang and out. Parents frequently tell me about how their kids have improved since they started training. I even remember improving when I started training. It doesn’t just apply to kids either. It applies to the adults too. For some it takes longer than others, but I’ve seen adults learn through example.
This seems odd to some. That’s fair. It was quite jarring for me when I left the taekwondo world for college. I was asked to stop calling people sir or ma’am. Apparently it made them feel old. It was extremely surreal for me. But I learned something out of this. The world is large. There are so many different cultures and systems, even in our local communities! Doesn’t it seem reasonable that we should respect them in the way they wish to be respected?
What do you think? How did you learn courtesy? Leave a comment below and subscribe! (And check out some other posts if you like!)
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